Ep 144 | Why Comparing Your Finances Is Keeping You Stuck

Ever feel like you’re falling behind financially no matter how hard you work or how much you accomplish?

In this episode, I’m sharing the story of a client who went from stuck in comparison mode to building real confidence and momentum with her money. She was running a thriving business, yet felt like a failure because she kept measuring herself against other people’s retirement accounts, debt-free milestones, and dream vacations. 

The truth is, when you’re busy comparing your finances to someone else’s highlight reel, you lose sight of the only numbers that actually matter: your own. Tune in to learn how she shifted from unsettled to successful, and how you can start finding progress and peace in your own financial journey.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

✅ Why comparing your finances to others keeps you stuck and frustrated

✅ How to measure financial progress the right way (and what numbers to focus on)

✅ A simple two-step process to stop comparison and start building confidence

✅ How one client went from unsettled and overwhelmed to making real financial progress

✅ Practical money tips for finding success on your retirement journey

💜 Book your free Retirement Ready Q&A Call

💰 Join the Retirement Ready Workshop

✨ Connect with me on Instagram

Transcript

 Welcome to today's episode. I'm excited to share with you how my client found comfort in her finances. She came to me feeling so unsettled, and as we worked, she finally found comfort and movement momentum moving forward. She was comparing why she couldn't do and why she couldn't find success because she was comparing herself to others and she had a list.

She had a list of why she couldn't be like so and so because of this, and why she couldn't be like this other person because of this, you know, their life was better or their money situation was easier. But she was so stuck in comparison mode that she was not able to make any forward movement with her finances.

Now, this was a very smart individual running her own business and doing very well. Yes, if you listened to the last episode. A lot of clients that come to work with me are very successful entrepreneurs, and for whatever reason, they can't quite make something click to find success with their personal finances.

One of the reasons why so many successful women are stuck. Stuck with their own personal finances is because they are silently comparing their behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel. And we need to remember that when we look at somebody, no matter how close they are to us, we are only getting their highlights.

We don't know the actuality, and honestly, it does not matter. So my client, like many was running a successful business, but when it came to her own personal finances, she felt like she was failing. Now, she had had life events that had happened that had created her own storm. She felt very chaotic when she came to me, so you know, we kind of termed it as this storm that she had built, but really as we got looking, it was just survival mode.

Things happen in our lives so differently from others, and we have to make choices. We have to make those choices and live within our storm that hopefully we can calm down over time and you know, of course. We feel bad when things happen and we wished we could be like somebody else's, and this was where she was stuck.

Well, if I was like so and so, then I wouldn't have had this or I wouldn't have to worry about this. And so instead of feeling accomplished, she was consumed by what others had. Knowing about their retirement accounts, knowing about their debt-free status, watching them take some fancy vacations, all of this kept her frozen and honestly, it made her feel like her progress didn't matter and she also didn't know where to start.

But the comparison blinded her from her progress, so when you're busy measuring your money against someone else's, you lose sight of the only numbers that matter, and those numbers are yours. So whether you have a storm, a Bruin, or whatever it is, those are yours, and you don't need to be stuck in comparison mode.

My client didn't need more hustle. She honestly just needed permission to let go of everyone else's journey and start honoring her own. How did I help her do this? The very first thing we did. Was we number one, we got her numbers, but I helped her to see the progress she had made. I helped her understand her situation and why she was there.

Thinking back through all of the choices she made, I helped her own her own situation. She would look at others and measure. Compared to them, instead of measuring her progress from where she had been, once she stopped looking around for that. Verification from others, that's what we're trying to do.

Well, if I'm like them or if I'm like them, then it'll be okay, but we need to stop trying to mimic what others are doing. As my client did this, she was able to dig her heels into her own situation. And like I said, she found comfort there. She found progress there. What we did was focus on her numbers, her vision, and her goals.

And we evaluated her current numbers and compared them to her six months ago. This is the correct comparison. Where were you six months ago? Hopefully you're moving ahead. Hopefully you can chalk up some ideas for progress and once the noise of comparison was quieted, she could take action. Her first little steps of action created momentum.

She also realized that the skills she used in business could be brought into her personal finances, but first and foremost, she had to stop seeing herself as behind our journey. It's not a race and there isn't a clock ticking down. You need to be striving for your own success, and my client was able to learn this and discover this and found comfort in working through her situation.

It didn't miraculously change overnight, but because she quit comparing herself to others that it didn't matter, she was able to then compare for herself. How can you begin to find progress for yourself? If you feel similar to my client, and maybe you are stuck in comparison, maybe you do it occasionally,

i'm gonna give you two steps to kind of reverse that and help you find your own progress, your own success. I think evaluating that. Is a way to then get us moving forward. Step one I want you to find, if you are caught in the comparison trap, are you focusing on someone else's outcome? What it appears their highlight rail,

instead of your own progress, your own success, and like I said, you might be feeling like my client and it might feel like a storm, but in what ways have you quieted that down? Bring the focus back to your numbers, your timeline, and your values. Look at where you are today. Whether that's your savings amount, how much debt you owe how much you're earning.

There's lots of different ways to look at it. I want you to go to six months ago, what did that look like? A current client I have, so separate from the one I'm talking about. I had her do this and reflect six months ago as well, and she realized the changes and the progress she had made. Reflecting back and comparing our now with our six months ago is what we want to do.

We can see we're making changes, but we feel stuck and we don't feel successful because we're trying to achieve one thing, and the one thing has not happened yet. We've got to remember there are little progress, milestones, steps that are growing, things that are better, even though ideally you want one thing to happen overall, and that is why you keep getting stuck.

And then instead of comparing your six months ago, you're comparing somebody else's situation. They don't have the same life events, they don't have the same anything, so you've got to stop doing that. Once you realize, if you're caught in the comparison trap and hopefully then move to com, your comparison and you've reflected back to six months ago, what is your next best financial move based on your current season, what can you do?

To make a change for the next six months. In six months, when you're looking back and comparing to yourself, what is it you hope to have done these small shifts can be setting up a savings bucket for one thing. Maybe you want to make sure income is greater than expenses. Right one. Aligned action with where you're at and where you want to go, and you don't need to wait until you feel ready.

Just find something that you're trying to do and do that small step today. If you are stuck and like, I am not even sure, be sure to book your free call. Let's chat about it. Let's see what I can help you with. You don't have to do it alone. My client didn't, and that's what helped her finally move forward.

She was able to then have complete control of all of the things she was trying to do and understand how to measure her own progress, how to find these aligned actions, how to keep track of them and make sure that they're still moving her forward. If you're stuck in that comparison mode and you're unable to move forward on your own.

You're not alone, I have several clients that have come to me with similar situations, and you just maybe need to have somebody else look at it with you, help you determine what those aligned steps are, and your first step is a financial reality checkup inside the retirement roadmap session. Let me help you see what your real situation is and the exact steps you can take to begin moving forward.

Just like my client, we created those aligned steps. She was able, able to do it and had the support, and we kept measuring from paycheck to paycheck from month to month so that she could see her growth. Now if that feels like a big leap, you are not ready to jump into a session. I would love for you to sign up for my Make Retirement Possible masterclass to help you go from unsure and behind to aligned and ready in just three days.

Visit Elevate Finances us slash Masterclass to learn. More, and I'll be sharing more about what we're going to be doing inside and how that reflects of how I help clients. Just like today's episode. Be sure to tune into future episodes to learn more about this masterclass. But I would love, love to have you join and you know, learn how to take steps on your own.

I thank you for listening to today's episode, and be sure to join me in the next one.